Mental Abstractions

Presence is the state of simply existing, being aware, and fully engaged in the moment.  A time where I experienced feeling present was for a reason that I wouldn’t have expected. I was in the redwoods of Northern California when I decided to go on my last hike for the day. It was 7 pm, with only one hour till sunset. The hike stretched 2 miles down a 1,200 ft steep descent. With no flashlight or water, I decided to do it anyway. Flash forward to the trek back up. I was starting to feel exhausted and couldn’t stop thinking of the what-ifs. What if it gets dark? What if I see a bear? What if I don’t make it back? All of these what-ifs led me to have a panic attack. Here I was, hyperventilating on a trail close to dark. I looked up around me and saw these beautiful redwoods stretching as high as I could see. This snapped me back to the present, and I realized that my thoughts and anxieties weren’t going to change my situation. I looked straight down at my feet and kept walking up the hill until I reached the top. I had to be present and extract myself from my thoughts to be able to finish what I had started. What started as an incredibly uncomfortable experience turned quite peaceful when I learned how to remove myself from my thoughts. Aside from this, I find that I struggle with being present on a day-to-day basis. My brain is more like a parasite that takes me away from the present moment with its incessant thoughts.